Boo!

So much for my intention to blog regularly! Heres a little update, and i'm going to try and avoid dot points as they were a bad habit in my previous blogs. 

As mentioned previously, I am running now. I run three times a week, an unheard of activity three months ago! I actually enjoy it, which is the biggest shock of all. I get to listen to my tunes (ah, unrestricted music! No one to complain!) I work out my pent-up work frustrations and explore the neighbourhood. It's all much more fun than I expected. Slowly working my way up to running a whole 5 k in its entirety. Shauna and Julia from Up and Running and the virtual cheer squad have helped me so much. 

P turned 5. We had a play centre party with his friends from child care and I made a super dodgy Tardis cake, which I stayed up until 1am the night before making and stuffing up. It's pretty easy to impress a five year old boy with cake, thankfully! He now has more Lego than is necessary. Well, one half of me believes that. The other thinks you can never, ever have enough Lego. After the cake frenzy, we hit the mountains for two days of much needed post-birthday relaxation. We expected snow. Instead we got t-shirt weather. Not to be put off, we still put the wood fire on every night. And remade plans to buy a house up there. One day. 

With P's birthday came the realisation that I have to enrol him in school for next year *gulp*. That's finally taken care of and we're starting to get excited about it all. 

Asides from that, I had a job interview. I didn't get the job but I think that might be for the best. At the moment it's hard to tell how things will work out with school next year. I'm tired of going over that all in my head continually, so I just going to ride out the rest of the year and wait and see. 

I've also kind of started a book club with a group of strangers I met on a closed group on FB. A question where I wanted to suss out book clubs in my area evolved when it turned out there were a few of us in the same boat. We're meeting in a pub next week to meet each other and discuss books we could cover. The main point of our group is that we meet less frequently than others, giving everyone the opportunity to catch up. 

Yes, life is a little dull around these parts. The perils of working full time and having exhaustion eating into my spare time, I suppose. 

Slowly, slowly does it

Yes, another blog. I'm temperamental when it comes to blogs. I try not to be but life often gets in the way and the focus changes or I just can't be bothered writing any more. The last one ended when I was trapped in a hideous grief period mid-last year. I just couldn't, wouldn't write about what happened. I started to but it didn't seem right, having it all out there with my name attached to it. Hiding behind a pseudonym on an American baby site, surrounded by lovely strangers who understood every part of what I was going through seemed to be a more appropriate venue for discussion and support. Slowly I started to open up to people. A year later and I've only just "publicly" acknowledged my late-term pregnancy loss on Facebook. People knew about what happened generally; that I was 20 weeks pregnant and that my baby was a boy. A small handful of friends and all of my family have the details. I might share my story here one day.   

A year has passed now. My grief, for the most part, has shifted and shrunk, although it's still there and likes to make itself known from time to time. I feel more like the old me now than I have in a long time. Grief has made me a better person in some regards, I have much more empathy these days. In others, it has made me worse. My low tolerance for bullshit can sometimes equate to a reluctance to engage with people and make new acquaintances and friendships.

In the last year, I've changed careers (not my brightest move), taken our son on his first overseas trip and seen my favourite band play live in a sports centre in the middle of an industrial zone in Melbourne. Recently I've begun running, intermittent fasting and getting into craft again. A bit of an odd mix but one of my problems is that I haven't been occupied. Or that I have been but allowed myself to get distracted by Candy Crush or some other naff diversion. Beyond work, my boy and home stuff, I didn't make time for doing more interesting and entertaining stuff beyond watching TV and mindlessly playing with my phone. Most of all, I wasn't really looking after myself. I hope to change that. This is why I'm back in blogland.